turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
