please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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