with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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