No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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