I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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