Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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