I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
