Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize