This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
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