I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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