I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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