so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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