Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
