Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
