i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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