He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
