This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think my moral compass just broke
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
