Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
