I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
