The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
