i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
