You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
