So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i will never coherently bang her
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
