At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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