I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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