id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
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I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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