If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
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Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
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Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.