The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.