Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
