he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
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Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
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Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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