its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Shame - the story of my life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
