You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it because I queefed?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
