no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize