remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
