she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
my poor anus
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
