I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
This is the high leading the old right now
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
