I wish i was in the wii world.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
