Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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