True but thats because hes a fetus.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
