I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
