so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
