he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
