so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
