I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
