So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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