Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize