I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
