i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
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found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
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Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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