he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
