Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
