btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
