So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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