I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
