The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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