I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
from now on my penis is your penis
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
