and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
