I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
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