I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
