I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
