You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
