my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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