I think my fart just growled at me.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize