I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
