I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
