You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i've created a new STD.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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