Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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