Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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