But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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