O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
